That feeling of being with you, of being so close to happiness have been ephemeral. I was so close to reaching that famous happy ending, almost believing that what we share is not pretend. I cannot go on dreaming for I know I am. Romantic dreams must die.
Slowly, your hands are slipping out of mine.
We have grown apart and the feeling is no longer the same. You are now that stranger again I am trying to get to know. for everything we once shared, it felt so real, so true, so maddening that I stopped trying to process it - I just relegated myself to just feeling what felt right. I hunger now for tactile confirmation, for sensory input that all I felt is not just my imagination.
I gave myself reasons why I should not be attracted to you. I tried so very hard. Yet, the subtle truth was undeniable. I was falling in love. heart first. I found the best of me in your eyes. You, the rare and unexpected friend.
we forged a closed relationship. there were no channels of communications; lest one should offend the other. it was a relationship predicated on false presumptions and inaccurate assumptions. we were restricted by our perpetual walks on tippy-toes and prolonged moments of fragility. these were the circumstances i found myself stuck with. trapped. like a bull in a chandelier shop.
Yet, I continue to cling on, desperately trying to console my soul. desperately trying to hush down the whimpers of my heart. Truth be told, if you lean close enough, you can hear the beatings of my trepidation.
no matter how hard we try to be different, we still end up living life according to platitudes. there's just too many of them out there. for instance, i'm now coveting what i don't have... but i'm not going to deny myself that feeling. i should not let you have me. you just would not appreciate it.
