My brain has been a giant site of useless junk churning with nonsensical ideas on how to convince my parents to spend more money on me. I could well afford quite a few things on my own now but I am just too stingy and the thought of having to spend my OWN hard earned money is not very appealing. Yes I am a horrible ungrateful offspring to have. As since all my brain energy is already channel to con my parents' money it takes me hours and days to compile enough mental willpower to create a blog worthy of your time and energy.
Life at work has also been hectic and CrAz-E.
I am always leaving work with tears welling, exasperated and very much wanting to just go home to a nice bathe. During my drive back home, tears will roll down my cheeks and I will silently pray that some kind hearted arsonist will torch planet workplace so I will never have to go back and endure a whole team of people who has contributed to my soaring blood pressure level. It's a rough start at work since the beginning of year 2010; I can't offer perfection. or anything resembling it for that matter. In fact, I am already at my wits end on what else can be done.
I am always leaving work with tears welling, exasperated and very much wanting to just go home to a nice bathe. During my drive back home, tears will roll down my cheeks and I will silently pray that some kind hearted arsonist will torch planet workplace so I will never have to go back and endure a whole team of people who has contributed to my soaring blood pressure level. It's a rough start at work since the beginning of year 2010; I can't offer perfection. or anything resembling it for that matter. In fact, I am already at my wits end on what else can be done.
But I can offer an earnest desire to try harder, to get better. No, fuck that. I will be better. Because the one positive thing about being at the bottom is that things can only get better from here. And that I can promise: I will do better. Bit by bit, day by day. Nothing is insurmountable.
My heart is doing sommersault flips in my rib cage at the moment. I have my eye on someone who makes me laugh but that's never enough. to stare from afar and wish that things were a tad different. I am finding myself being enveloped in a warm facade of intimacy, becoming best friends from just mere acquaitance. I can only promise to laugh a little more and to be a little better. Scraped knees are easier to heal than broken hearts you say heh?
I wish things will eventually fall into place and this melee that is hanging like a mist over me will disperse soon so I can see the road ahead clearer. Where's my sprinkles of magical sweetness in life?
