When I do not Sleep enough

I think its never too late to learn to appreciate the little things in life that makes it sweet. When life gives us a second chance to appreciate those around us, to make amends and start anew, we should get down on our knees and thank God for allowing us to fall off the pedestal and yet love us the same.

People who have lost and have spent enough time hanging on the line of hope would see second chances as foreign. Something they wished they knew or had, something that they could only watch others take and something that they could only wonder what it feels like to have.

As we gear towards the end of March, I have already hit my first bump for the year 2010. Though very much I want it to be the first and last glitch of the year, I know it wouldn't be. However, when the world seem toughest, I am glad I could still be counting my blessings and the wondrous people in my life. Words of comfort flowed, people came and sit through the dark with me till dawn came and someone was always there to push the frowning lines up to a smile.

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However, today's entry is not to waffle again about the fantastic-ness of my life. I have just had 6 hours of sleep, i.e. I have been deprieved of the requisite 10 hours of  brain rest needed for me to think intelligent thoughts and speak like the Dalai Lama. I also have just been driving 4 hours on the road. I am effing cranky, tired and have lost all sense of wisedom.

I happened to chance upon Plan Bee's latest blog entry - finally an entry after a million years in hiding - only to discover for the years we have been together, he has never been sincere and true. For all the times I genuinely believe he thought I was funny and the way he used to be lol-ing at my silly-ness - just my own fantasty. My own made-believe that after searching far and wide, someone out there thinks I am funny. He has just actually perfected the art of fake laughter. So the haha-hehe were all just lies. Good acting. Should give him an Oscar for it. All that air of happiness was just a chimera. I am crushed. Crushed is an understatement - I am shattered. I can never see him in the same light again. My impression of him is now tainted. The sheet of virgin snow has now smeared with droplets of red blood on it. Good or not my description?

But because I am a nice person. Sweet. Loving. Forgiving. I am giving him a second chance. Although he does not seem to deserve it.

At the moment, I have filed my Cold War Petition against him. I am declaring hail storm and a temperature of -10 degrees upon him. In summation, our relationship shall be frozen till he repents. Kneel on Durian skin and beg for my forgiveness perhaps? Let me sleep on it. Meditate on that idea.

*Crackling Evil laughters*