Bonfire night

loose ends are meant to be burned, not tied.
they were romanticized by the written word - simply for the fact that it was not oral, vocalized, nor wantonly discarded into the thinness of the air. never trust a smooth talker, they believed. writing lent itself to some semblance of permanence. accountability, at the very least.
he rifled his fingertips through the box of letters - a portrait of their passion and pain spilt onto plain stationary in blue, black, and sometimes lavender gel ink - she once said it was pretty. the letters spoke of the volumes that existed between them, now brittled and yellowed by the years. more recently, the heartache had finally bore through her worn, tattered patience for sentimentality until all that remained were the straggling threads of indifference. I held the box up.

what shall we do with these?

burn them, she stated. i want you to freakin' burn them.

Okie..lets have a bonfire then tonight!! Last night in Newcastle will see us both skipping around a huge pile of sentimental burnt belongings. Brrrr...what a way to warm up for winter!

Skeletons in the closet

It seems like everyone is doing this recently and it looks like fun! Unfortunately I was not tagged (boo you guys! boo!) But Imma do it anyways XD. So without further adeu, here' some things about me that you otherwise would not have known:

1.) sincerely like rainy, cloudy, thundering days. I enjoy rain on the windows panes and driving in the rain. If I am in bed, I will lie awake hearing the pitter patters of rain on the roof. and i always hope a rainy day comes with the whole monty - thunder and lightning. not so much of lightning but very much of the clapsing of thunder. People think I am depressed but really I am happiest when it rains. I just like how soothing and calming rainy days are.

2.) I prefer winters and fall over summer and spring. Not because I like snow or crunchy leaves but mostly because I like winter clothing =P. I just prefer wearing jackets, coats, sweaters and long sleeved clothing over t-shirts and shorts. I also like the longer days than the sun. Its odd considering i grew up in a tropical country where it is summer a year long. but i simply love the idea that the nights are longer than the days. i feel safer in my own home when its dark and cold rather than sunlight and all..creepy? i know...hmmm

3.) I like to go places in my head. I have a very vivid imagination and when I get bored I like to zone out and have little adventures in my head. I even numerous imaginary alter-egos. People think I am in deep contemplation or thought, meanwhile I am in the arms of a prince charming of a far far away land and exploring the universe in a space-ship. The problem is that I do it so much that sometimes I get confused and mix up my imaginary alter-ego adventures with real life. Some say this is the beginning of insanity and schizophrenia...I say "Huh? What? Sorry, I was someplace else..."

4.) Before I considered a law degree, I seriously considered a various whole other professions that had my parents banging their heads against the wall. Amongst them, i wanted to be a forensic pathologist, not just any normal doctor or surgeon, i just love the idea of being with dead people and cutting them up. not now though. as i grew older and more 'mature' i realised no boys would be interested in dating a girl who spends so much time running her hands on a dead person.
People are surprised by my mixture and sometimes seemingly conflicting sets of skills and talents. I think it makes me well rounded, but because I was so spread out in my early years I am like a jack of all trades and no master in any. I personally think I am a bit of an anomaly personality wise. Some aspects of me are just not congruent with each other. I really enjoy meeting other people, who like me, are not what they seem and have layers of hidden meaning and depth.

5.) I played the piano and a little of the violin when i was growing up. and in all my oral exams whereby i had to sing, i failed them - ALL completely. i must be pretty tone deaf or somehow, i am musically challenged. i would love to play the cello though my fingers are too short and small to hold on to the strings. same reason why i never attempted to play the guitar. i just had short fingers that were never meant for any musical instruments. Bah!

6.) I am a pretty open-minded girl overall but I just can't do vegetarian. Once in college there was this cute guy who was interested in me. However after a date or so, I found out he was vegetarian and I just stopped calling. Dinner was at a sushi place. I ordered sushi, he ordered nothing...sorry sweetie, it's not you, it's your stomach.

7.) I always fall in love with the bad boys. the one who has a bad past. the one who is messed up. the one who drives fast cars and never give a damn in the world. they are fast and furious boys. the ones you glance at, let your heart regale silly in them but never the ones you will date. i like the idea they had once been naughty and it kinda make them damn sexy. well..they are the boys you party around but never the ones you bring home to meet your parents kinda boy.

8.) I have a ballerina flats fettish. everytime i walk into a shoe store, i will go gaga over those shoes and i am left to making tough decisions. some are so bloody expensive it can go to buy a kidney for a dialysis patient and some can feed a small third world nation. someone then reminded me i have only a pair of feet and a 100 pairs of ballerina flats is an utter waste of money simply because i will not transform or evolve to be a caterpillar.

Now that you've learnt my dirty little secrets - i must make sure you run into my knife the next time i see you!

Pondering Christmas thoughts...

This year all I want for Christmas is a magical one. A magical wand waved over the holiday season and let all the sparkles and delights of magical cheer fall like snow flakes on me. Its been a tumultuous week for me. Having serious work deadlines to commit to and a whole series of unfortunate, or rather, traumatic events befall upon me. Sometimes I wish God would allow my life to be like filming a movie whereby He booms from above - 'take two' whenever a 'not so good take' happens. On many things, there is no re-filming of a terrible act but for Christmas, you possibly could have 'take two'. If last year's Christmas was a whole big mess - can this year be a better one? a second round of helping of christmas pressies and festive goodness, perhaps?

Can this Christmas be my second take on a Christmas romance? 

Distance has taken a toll on many things. its a killer of a many good things. a silent killer that creeps up on you during the night, put a pillow over whatever tingamagically good in your life and muffle it to death without you ever realizing. at least, so for me. Every time I find someone who makes the rhythmic beats of my heart play a slow duet, distance has to appear and take it away from me. In just less than a week, I lost the reason I was going home to or rather, I find myself slipping away from the fingers or passion from the person I was going home to. It became oddly cold. just like the winter wind. If I knew - if only I had found a fortune cookie that told me my allotted time - would I have live or cherish this short-lived romance in a different way? would i waste less time? would I carpe diem - seize the day(s) I had with him? REALLY? 

I daresay I would still have think of him as another pretty face. and I would still not text him or rang him insanely because my womanly conscience of 'the guy should make the first move if he is interested in you' still triumphs over. But I'd have learn to relax more around him. laugh, cry, sob, be softer when I still have his attention. try not to be so tough. let him in abit more on the softy side of me. would that have scared him off? frightened him and send him running for the hills? i don't know but i would have done that and at least I know - i have given him and myself and us the chance to know the person in me. it wasn't that i wasn't me before. i just was tougher. braver. stronger. which really doesn't depict the true me. would I have love better? definitely! would i have love him more - i don't think i can possibly love more than i already had. 

Some people think while they ran. I think better when I shower. the rain of waters on my skin gives me the peace i need to send me brains running. the neurons works more rationally. with my eyes close, i see clearer. its a calming sensation that sends me spiraling to a world of my own. washing all my worries down the pipe hole. leaving only good vibes and a fresher me. i had lots brainstorming sessions in my shower. its where i found the valiancy to speak in my advocacy classes, the ideas to surprise whats-his-face, the little crooks and canny of myself that i needed answers to, and most of all - the duet to my hearts song. 

was i too weak for my own good as mummy had told me one night? will i always be in search of someone to share my thoughts with, to fill that lonely heart, to just squabble and chatter away with? have i been asking too much that sometimes my academic achievements and archives of snobbishness has over taken the little timid person i am inside? i truly don't want just anyone to fill the shoes of special someone. i want someone special to call my own. everyone can be a good boyfriend, but it takes someone special to be your soul mate. someone who lights up my eyes like christmas lights, someone who will be the gentlest critic of my often lack of judgment, someone to guide me, someone that i can see my soul dancing with. 

will this Christmas just be a lonely one where that someone special cannot possibly make it due to the heavy snow or christmas traffic? 

This Christmas, as I pray for the magical dust to fall on everyone out there I also pray that it will be a Christmas different from the less. More special, more excitement, more thrill and thrall, and most of all - more of others rather than yourselves. So while you:

1.)binge on all the turkey and cranberry that can last you till next spring;

2.) tear open your christmas presents like a manically three year old while squealing in delight;

3.) ride the sleighs on a frosty winter night with ruldolph;

4.) drink and gurgle all the sparkling wine, champagne and 101 other different alcohol;

5.) party like there is no tomorrow dress up in red and green;

6.) sing all the christmas chorus till your voice is hoarse;

you will also meet that someone special under the mistletoe! 

Its no harm wanting to believe in a little magic, I guess - TAKE TWO - Have yourself a Magical wondrous Christmas time!!

A touch of London

The winter wind stung at my face. chilly. cold. freezing. As I buttoned up my coat to venture further, I cannot help but feel my emotions change. All my fuzzy warm feelings of sitting by the fireplace with my hot cocoa is now replaced with cold wind and eerie creepy silence. Its all so surreal. having come back to face the gloomiest season of the year. to ride in london's tube and reminscence of the times I had someone by my side to chatter and banter with. to remember the lonely walks back to my warm hut, leaves crunching underneath my boots and creepy shadow following me in the dark. waiting to pounce on me. a jack the ripper thrill. ignorant of the dangers that lurk around for i was too busy concentrating on the intensity of winter air that is bitting into my skin.

The lights of london dances with excitement in front of my eyes. mesmerising me. holding my breath hostage at the magical sight of christmas lightings. I knew at that instance that there are somethings my heart cannot reason with. its a thrilling chase and a wondrous time to be back here. to have come close and yet not able to have it in the palms of my hand. i know how complete my heart is when im back in london. its a feeling that no words can describe. as though as the darkness and emptiness has been shone at and filled with the hustle bustle of city life. the craziness and the hype of being in one of the most happening capital of the world.

My journey ends a week from now. to give up the yearnings of my heart and to move back home is something i never prepared myself for. i am sailing out into an unknown sea again whereby not knowing when i am going to see this land again. the vibrant metropolis. the city that shook my love for it. keeping me coming back for more.

When William Wordsworth wrote "Upon London Bridge" he could never have imagined that it could become even more beautiful.
William Wordsworth (1770 - 1850)Composed on Westminster Bridge, September 3, 1802Earth has not anything to show more fair:

Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty:
This City now doth, like a garment, wear
The beauty of the morning; silent, bare,
Ships, towers, domes, theatres, and temples lie
Open unto the fields, and to the sky;
All bright and glittering in the smokeless air.
Never did sun more beautifully steep
In his first splendour, valley, rock, or hill;
Ne'er saw I, never felt, a calm so deep!
The river glideth at his own sweet will:
Dear God! the very houses seem asleep;
And all that mighty heart is lying still!


Having felt it, touch it, lie beside it and live in it awhile, London is like a big dream come true. a dream that I never want to wake up from.

(NB: photographs are taken by London Photographer, Jason Hawkes, from a helicopter at night. From Jason: "Shooting aerial photography during the daytime had its own difficulties, you are strapped tightly into a harness leaning out of the helicopter, shouting directions through the headsets to the pilot. If shooting in the day can be difficult, night and the lack of light causes its own set of problems, but overcoming them is half the fun and the results can be stunning. I shoot at night using the very latest digital cameras, mounted on either one or two gyro stablazied mounts, depending on the format of the camera and length of lens I'm having to use.")

Love begins with the letter L

We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh with. and whenever the future hinges on an unknown cliff, don't let logic interfere, let your heart do the thinking and the talking, let the whispers of your heart guide you. I, for one have became an incredulous personage of this whole 'believe your heart instead' kinda business when it comes to love. but the heart often has reasons that reason cannot know. Be still my heart. Lately its starting to have a mind of its own. It can go far and wide just to be near the one I love. One's darnesdest to stop it from doing things like that is futile. As hard as I may try to deny, the supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved.

You remember last when it was like to speak to that special someone. that person who holds the key to your heart. once unlock, it unleashes a multidinous of symptoms of being in love. that one person in your life is enough. you do not need a populous of minions to make you smile. that one person who knows how to make you smile. the rights words to say. the right things to do. just being there listening, learning, looking, loving, lamentating, living - all for you.

its shaming not many share your deepen love. its a secret you feel embarass to let others know. your little secret that you are too shy to share. afraid others will poke fun at your heart. fragile as your emotions may be, its easily break-able. you cant have a serious relationship until you let this immaginery one go. its a fleeting moment of here and there. to let go and live for the now instead of hoping of what tomorrow may bring and the endless list of what-if(s). if you think your unfilled love is romantic, think deeper. its irresponsible. its not allowing yourself a chance to know the world. its closing the doors on others to love you.

someone once said, "if you want to work on something: write a book, record a song, build a fucking bridge. do something productive. contribute to society. relationships are a type of ostentatious masturbation - we only serve ourselves. and in the end, everyone settles for less than perfection and all we're left with is a sticky mess that no one wants to clean up".

it's funny you say that, i replied. because no matter how hard we try to be different, we still end up living life according to platitudes. there's just too many of them out there. for instance, i'm now coveting what i don't have... but i'm not going to deny myself that feeling.

just like some of you are there, sometimes i deny my heart the opportunity to love another. i build a wall to keep others from penetrating it. like a safe deposit. a stealth. a strong wall of steal that keeps robbers away. robbers with no mercy who will take my heart away and boil it in soup on a winters day.

don't ever let them have it, you tell yourself. keep telling yourself that and you will never taste the sweetness of real life romance. wake up and smell the roses today. this very moment. do it!

Smile baby smile

The Landlord by Will Ferrell

From the eyes of a little chicken

views and perspectives - it all just changes at the drop of a hat. maybe it was a blustering gust. or perhaps it was the gentle lull of a whispering wind over time. but just like that, you realize, and everything changes.

views and perspectives. they're every bit as capricious as the motion of air.your views are schematic. and schemas are snapshots - opinions formed at a point in a certine line of time. points, fortunately or unfortunately, are ephemeral. time moves on. we move on. lines become wiggles. block lettering becomes scribbles. and the clarity that was so cleanly laid out now becomes chaos. everything changes.

ah, but it's a matter of perspective. we all have changing perspectives. we label it hindsight. or we call it growth. it's social evolution. we prefer to regard it as advancement. is it really?perspectives are like weather patterns. they may be cyclical, but you can't track them over lengthy periods of time. they're impossible to predict. simply put, you can't trust them. what you think you know is what you don't. reality is an overcast sky. everything is washed away in a sea of grey.


he called me with an emergency. that was his perspective and i had mine. unfortunately, our vantage points were not the same. but for the moment, i entertained his perspective. i obliged and checked my texts. call it obedience or call it curiosity. i did what i was told. if it was a true emergency, why would you text me as opposed to tell me over the phone? perhaps it was more curiosity.

he texted a loaded question. loaded questions bear loaded answers. and like most times, i didn't have the time. but this time, my reason was legit. i was crossing a busy highway. texting while crossing a busy motorway was probably more dangerous than drinking and driving. but i obliged and replied that i'd respond later when i had more time and wasn't trying to cross roads.

he wanted a response now. yes or no. it was so very typical. nevermind my present circumstances, he had an "emergency" at hand and he expected me to tend to it. his supposed emergency was more important than my well-being. it was all very familiar and all very...selfish.

then the follow-up text came: my relationship hangs in the balance.it suddenly made sense. he was looking to me for support. he was looking for me to jump on his side. i stopped at the nearby bus stop and called him. i'm not sure why i did. i should have just ignored him. his current relationship had no bearing on me. i should not be getting involved. and that's basically what i said to him. i wasn't going to answer his question because it was irrelevant. my answer should have no bearing on their relationship.


the problems that exist between two people exist only between those two people. what right did he and her have in roping me, his ex-crush, into an argument that they were having? over my well-being. and over my friends' well-being. and most importantly, over something so petty, so trivial to others. it was plainly selfish.

selfish. selfish. selfish. i'm not sure when it happened, but that became my schema of him. i realize that this perspective is wrong and it probably isn't fair.it's funny because i used to adore him. i placed him upon a pedestal where he could do no wrong. and i would do anything for him. but then things changed. perhaps i wasn't fair. no one can live up to those standards. yet, i can't place whether it was a gradual realization or a sudden conclusion. but like looking through saffron-tinted glasses, my view of him became tainted in this light. and like most selfish people, i approach with caution and handle with care.


it's a self-preservation mechanism really.consideration would have dictated that they postpone their argument for a better time. in that sick, twisted space of my mind, i wished for something morbid. i wished for an accident. would he view his "emergency" in a different light? would that finally change the perspective of their disagreement?i can only wonder...

Futile Attraction

I made an astonishing discovery when web-surfing. I read with much amusement on what this guy had to say. Argh, make me wanna smack the living daylights out of him. Here goes nothing...

It’s always bad news whenever I start liking a girl. As someone who is unattractive in every sense of the word, I only fall for women who are astronomically out of my league. And when I start to like one of these outrageously unattainable women, I immediately stop being myself. This is usually a good thing, generally speaking, because who I am isn’t really all that exciting or interesting. However, what happens when I like a girl is that I try to become someone who I think she will like, and this is where I always fail. Instead of turning into a smooth, silver-tongued Casanova, I turn into an inarticulate blubbering monster, and women aren’t usually attracted to those things. But sometimes the girl sees through my charade and begins to like me for who I genuinely am. When this happens I kind of lose a little respect for the girl and start to not like her, as this shows that she clearly hates herself, has no standards, and probably lives a reckless life. It is unattractive to be attracted to me.

I always feel sorry for a girl when I start to like her. No matter what happens, she's going to lose.

"Argh - slap!!"

Another prolix entry

In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime . It's the difference between here and there, when and where and the path you walk and one you leave behind; its the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; its the legroom for the lies you'll tell yourself in the future.

I for one, given my hollistic education abroad in a course that many child habours dreams of pursuing, have been exposed to many decision making process. Decisions that will and can distinguish me between a girl and a woman, a child and an adult, a layman and a professional and above all, a victim or a survivor. The boundaries of my life in an artist impression will be blurry chalky lines around every area.

Not just sketchy. But hazy. A smear painting. It was as if I was lost and unsure. Uncertain and most of all, unable to draw affirmation of what is good and bad for me. I have made decisions based on my inability to say no, incompetence to reject others, ineptitude to walk out of people's life, and my own frailty to hurt people whom I loved. Their feelings, their well being often come first before me in major issues. I just couldn't find the heart to say No. i was afraid of the faux pas of disappointment. the solecism of hurt. the transgression that will might lead to anger. and the pain i will bring if i did not condone to their interest.

So, what good is my trust fund education? 5 years in law school meant alot to me. It was years of sacrifice, giving up the goodness of weekend nights life, sheer hardwork and the determination to graduate. I didn't know how I made it but eventually I did. In those 5 years, I was a butterfly emerging from her cocoon. I indoctrinated myself with noble prize principles. I promise myself that this is the time I have to learn how to say no to all the yummy invites to party my heart out, to say no to those who wants to 'copy' my work, and to put myself first when it comes to my studies. It was beyond a shadow of doubt that I found light again in my darkness. And finally I could emerge victorious and announce - this is me!

Even if things seem to far for you, you always have to believe in yourself. That is most important. You owe it to yourself to have a better life. do not be trapped behind your curtains of hair. let the light shine on your face. give it a chance. if you have a dream inside of you, let it show. don't be afraid - just go chase after your rainbow dreams.

Be still my heart

Text buddy a.k.a Munchkin leaves for Bangalore, India today. It has been 3 months of endless clicking on our mobile phones just to stay in touch with each other. A whole season of loneliness. A draught of hugs, kisses and physical presence. We shared a bond over the summer in England. A friendship forged so tightly that no one can penetrate it, let alone the distance, the time difference, and the hype of myriad social activies that surrounded us. He is like the secret keeper to my fears, my dreams, my hopes and my psychotic-ness. I am his cupcake. The one he text when he needs someone to keep him grounded on the craziness around him, the one he flips his moblie open to contact whenever something eats into him and the one he holds dear in his heart - or at least so I like to imagine. In his words, " remember, no country is a barrier to our love. only brings us closer "!I wouldnt agree more.

We probably make a very odd 'couple'. We share a love that doesnt need explanation. Just two less lonely people in the world who found the missing pieces of their life.

Winter is cold without his embrace. Our summer's love, autumn solitude, winter's hope and joy of spring. I only have one advise for him when he leaves for India, 12.99 now is better than a lifetime of 12.99. Nothing could be more important that the box of 12.99 - not distilled water, not beer, not anything. zilch. I, for one, knows better. the passion of india is another heaven for banging galore. the munchkin I 'love' so dear certainly will blow away all the dark colour people with his yellow charisma.

In his last text, he prayed "God give me the will to forget, courage to find new, strength to move on, faith to be strong. Amen" Amen to that. I am sure there will be a sign of the rose when your prayer is granted. Wherever you are, my thoughts are with you. my heart yearns for a christmas with thee and thou art will always be my lord for i am your lady.

In a while, in a word,Every moment now returns.For a while, seen or heard,How each memory softly burns. Facing you who brings me new tomorrows,I thank God for yesterdays,How they led me to this very hour,How they led me to this place...Every touch, every smile,You have given me in care. Keep in heart, always I'll,Now be treasuring everywhere. And if life should come to just one question, Do I hold this moment true? No trace of sadness, Always with gladness...'I DO...'

Till our solemn promise of a reunion is fulffiled - have a safe flight. stay away from the pipe water and hopefully you wont be on marathon runs to the toilet. whenever you find yourself lost, be still and know that He is God!! His hands are on you and may His blessings shower upon you like rain. Amen!!

Not just another pretty face

When Mr.lyricist wrote the song 'Beautiful Soul' sang by the ever so gorgeous Jesse McCartney, I am sure he wasn't thinking of Jesse's pretty face. Singing the song word for word, ( I used to mumble the lines I don't know and sing out loud the only line I knew from the song - "I want you and your beautiful soul") dawned upon me that Mr.lyricst must be sick of dating just girls whose beauty is just skin deep. Ugly goes deep down to the bone. I am so glad I am beautiful inside out. I have eyes that glow like fireflies, eyelashes that flutters sexily, teeth that deserves to be on adverts for toothpaste, skin that oils up so much you can probably fry an egg with it and most of all, a heart that melts easily.

When God wrote my love story, He must have thought, 'Oh well, I am going to pull her legs and bless her with the unexpected'. I felt like Belle in Beauty and the Beast. It has been awhile I had stop caring whether or not the boy who cheated on me got his comeuppance. I just wanted to move on. And move on did i. It was truly a breakthrough for me. From wondering for months in the dessert, I was emerging out of the oasis of revenge is power to the promised land of God is in control of everything. Somewhere along the journey, I met pretty face. He struck me as just another pretty face. another guy in my life I would most probably forget 2 months down the line. Somewhere in between of our little laughs, our small talks, our tennis sessions, our taunting of each other - I fell in love. There's something sweet and almost kind. But he was mean and now he's dear. I wonder why I didn't see it there before. I had to slap myself back to reality on a few occasions when I caught myself behaving like a lovestruck teenager. Laughing like a hyena at his jokes. Acting weebit like a maniac on crack when around him. Blushing, sweating, heart thumping - all signs of a heart attack. and I am only so young. 20 to be exact.

New and bit alarming. Who would ever thought that this could be? True, there's no prince charming. But there's something in him that i simply didn't see. He joins the leagues of close male compatriots who gets my jokes and embrace my silliness. The only thing that sets him apart from the rest is that my heart palpitates everytime I see him or talk to him and my heart seems to skip a beat of disappointment everytime I don't. The question that now remains is that - how do we keep the passion going when I am 2 oceans apart? Does absence makes the heart grow fonder or does it make the heart wander. Absence does to love what the wind does to a fire. It keeps the strong burning stronger and extinguishes the weak. What are we then since I barely....hardly know Pretty face. His name stops at two syllabus. His first name and his surname. He probably has a middle name, a last name, another english name and a whole lots of other names. but I only know two. Pretty general ain't it?

Being apart for awhile gives me space and fresh air to fill my lovestruck brains. It enables me to be more rational. It provides me with the time I need to think through what I seek from pretty face. A week apart from Pretty face left me with this in my head. I miss him more than I thought I would. I try to cram him in my tight schedule so I could 'bum' into him online or rather much to my amusement, also allowed him to 'stalk' me online. I am such a tactless person when it comes to falling in love. i often go headlog without thinking much of the repercussions of a head injury or shall I say, 'heart injury'. I am most afraid after what I was put through the last few months, to put myself out there and be vulnerable to another heart break. What if pretty face doesn't feel the same? What if I am just travelling on this highway of love all by myself? one way traffic perhaps? All the what if(s) and open possibilities to be hurt. I refuse to set myself up for disappointment. I just simply lack the courage and strength in me..even if God granted - I have a heart that its still on loan. I cannot afford to lose it and not get it back again.

I do know what I want from Pretty face. Don't take my heart and leave me in misery.

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

I can't possibly say the other parts of this song fits into my mind. Cause' I am not desperate enough to sing, "Baby do you think you could want me too!". So Lord, hear my prayer. I am leaving this feeling of gushy mushiness at the cross. You decide. You play the cards for me. You write my love story for me.