In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime . It's the difference between here and there, when and where and the path you walk and one you leave behind; its the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; its the legroom for the lies you'll tell yourself in the future.
I for one, given my hollistic education abroad in a course that many child habours dreams of pursuing, have been exposed to many decision making process. Decisions that will and can distinguish me between a girl and a woman, a child and an adult, a layman and a professional and above all, a victim or a survivor. The boundaries of my life in an artist impression will be blurry chalky lines around every area.
Not just sketchy. But hazy. A smear painting. It was as if I was lost and unsure. Uncertain and most of all, unable to draw affirmation of what is good and bad for me. I have made decisions based on my inability to say no, incompetence to reject others, ineptitude to walk out of people's life, and my own frailty to hurt people whom I loved. Their feelings, their well being often come first before me in major issues. I just couldn't find the heart to say No. i was afraid of the faux pas of disappointment. the solecism of hurt. the transgression that will might lead to anger. and the pain i will bring if i did not condone to their interest.
So, what good is my trust fund education? 5 years in law school meant alot to me. It was years of sacrifice, giving up the goodness of weekend nights life, sheer hardwork and the determination to graduate. I didn't know how I made it but eventually I did. In those 5 years, I was a butterfly emerging from her cocoon. I indoctrinated myself with noble prize principles. I promise myself that this is the time I have to learn how to say no to all the yummy invites to party my heart out, to say no to those who wants to 'copy' my work, and to put myself first when it comes to my studies. It was beyond a shadow of doubt that I found light again in my darkness. And finally I could emerge victorious and announce - this is me!
Even if things seem to far for you, you always have to believe in yourself. That is most important. You owe it to yourself to have a better life. do not be trapped behind your curtains of hair. let the light shine on your face. give it a chance. if you have a dream inside of you, let it show. don't be afraid - just go chase after your rainbow dreams.
I for one, given my hollistic education abroad in a course that many child habours dreams of pursuing, have been exposed to many decision making process. Decisions that will and can distinguish me between a girl and a woman, a child and an adult, a layman and a professional and above all, a victim or a survivor. The boundaries of my life in an artist impression will be blurry chalky lines around every area.
Not just sketchy. But hazy. A smear painting. It was as if I was lost and unsure. Uncertain and most of all, unable to draw affirmation of what is good and bad for me. I have made decisions based on my inability to say no, incompetence to reject others, ineptitude to walk out of people's life, and my own frailty to hurt people whom I loved. Their feelings, their well being often come first before me in major issues. I just couldn't find the heart to say No. i was afraid of the faux pas of disappointment. the solecism of hurt. the transgression that will might lead to anger. and the pain i will bring if i did not condone to their interest.
So, what good is my trust fund education? 5 years in law school meant alot to me. It was years of sacrifice, giving up the goodness of weekend nights life, sheer hardwork and the determination to graduate. I didn't know how I made it but eventually I did. In those 5 years, I was a butterfly emerging from her cocoon. I indoctrinated myself with noble prize principles. I promise myself that this is the time I have to learn how to say no to all the yummy invites to party my heart out, to say no to those who wants to 'copy' my work, and to put myself first when it comes to my studies. It was beyond a shadow of doubt that I found light again in my darkness. And finally I could emerge victorious and announce - this is me!
Even if things seem to far for you, you always have to believe in yourself. That is most important. You owe it to yourself to have a better life. do not be trapped behind your curtains of hair. let the light shine on your face. give it a chance. if you have a dream inside of you, let it show. don't be afraid - just go chase after your rainbow dreams.
