Men, if only you knew these

1. We are exciting and always evolving.

You know how you always cannot figure us out and can't freaking stand when we throw you a curveball? Well, a girl likes to surprise her man with a thrilling mix of exhilaration and anticipation by being adventurous, spontaneous and erratic, if I may say. If we are so predictable all the time, life with us will get so static and you will believe the myth that a relationship is meant to get humdrum after awhile. You need to be fascinated by each other, otherwise it won't last. So the next time, we come home with a stack of cookbooks and is so determine to bake that double chocolate mint cinnamon muffin, cheer on us and get all excited, will ya?

2. You are not our entire life.

As charming and dashing you are and as much as we love spending time with you, you are not our everything. We may think the world of you but you are NOT our world. We will be scary if we depended on you for our sense of fulfillment - trust me, you will feel suffocated. So the next time we don't ditch our girlfriends for you, don't whine. Be glad that we have seperate entities and be thankful we respect you enough to keep your own life - i.e. hang out with the boys, drown in beer and speak profanities.

3. Appreciate us.

Just like you, we lead busy a busy life and yet we try to find time to look pretty, smell nice and please you. Stop taking it for granted the little herculean effort we put in for you. Stop whinning when we forget to shave, stop moaning when we forget to put on your favourite song in the car, and stop thinking we were put on this Earth simply to serve you and you alone. Sometimes all we want is simple - for you to look us in the eyes and show us that you care, that despite the out of bed hair and the eye bags, we still look lovely to you.

4. You are important to us - that's why we get upset (sometimes)

If we do not give two rats ass about you, we would not be upset if you had too much to drink and will be driving home alone - nor will we be staying up late just to be rest assured you have gotten home safe. Do you feel our love or sense our tiny gestures of love when we bring you a treat after you tell us you aren't feeling well or compliments your brilliance after you finish a stressful work project or takes you out for ice cream after a long tiring day? Although we do not mother you or assist you in every little thing in your life, we are consistently doing small things, nurturing things to let you know we care.

5. We want you to be the best man you can be

We always want to help you reach your potential by actively supporting your goals, even pushing you a teensy bit so you can succeed in whatever you do, but we can only do that if you share with us your thoughts, talk to us and stop thinking that we are bimbotic creatures who only knows about Chanel and Gucci. If we encourage you to shape up, work harder, drink less, and take care of yourself better, we have your best interest in mind. This means also calling your bluff and not letting you get away with slacking off. Eventhough it may seem like tough love at times, we want to help you achieve and accomplish things. So, don't drown your liver with alcohol, get early rest and do not binge eat before you hit the sack at night.

6. We like to know we are special

At the end of it all, we just want to feel we stand in a special place in your heart and we are an exception. The exception. We should not have to tap dance to get your attention. If we could sit with you and oogle at girls, laugh with you when you do the sillest thing, pamper you when you are feeling low, give you a massage when you feel sore and share your bad and moody days without saying a word, we like to know you will do the same and shower us with some love. Flowers would be nice. Chocolates may do the trick. Hugs and kisses sums it all.




In Conclusion
No matter how beautiful or intelligent or quirky we may be, there is bound to be someone out there who is more beautiful, more intelligent, and more quirky. We do not ask for much, just a little love, a little attention, a little more tender care - all we really want is to laugh with you, cry with you, love you, care for you, and be the girl you keep and grow old with. Most of all, we want to be the one you hold and cherish through good times and bad times. We just want to be the exception.


p/s: In case you are waiting for me to say, Haha, Just kidding! April's fool - sorry, that ain't coming.

Truce

I am not a scientist. I do not know the optimum temperature for fertilisation nor am any wiser on the effect of subzero weather conditions on the production of milk from the mammary glands. However I share your quiet understanding that I want to hear pitter patters of tiny feet and mutual confidence that the nursery should be filled with teddies, booties and happiness.

So I am staying loyal to you through this frigidity. I believe love is a friendship that has caught fire. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Yours drive me crazy but I am too noble to be angry at you for so long.

Somewhere beneath my sense of fun, my bravado and my independent exterior, I have a marshmellow for a heart. Soft and squeashy. But life is not a movie. and nothing is as easy as "making eye contact—tentatively at first, then a pact—before ripping off each other's clothes and declaring undying love…"

It's the way you make me smile and wanting more of you. Wanting may be the worst feeling of all, next to hope. But hope is the worst. Hope is the moment before peeing on the negative stick. Hope is the moment before they tell you they can’t find a heartbeat. Hope is a setup, a bait and switch, an illusion.

Perhaps these are the most frightening parts of our relationship, when I turn to you, I see the best of me in you and realised I am not complete without you. Just like Lauryn is not complete without Zara and Jayden without Alexander. 

Now, shall we kiss and make up?

When I do not Sleep enough

I think its never too late to learn to appreciate the little things in life that makes it sweet. When life gives us a second chance to appreciate those around us, to make amends and start anew, we should get down on our knees and thank God for allowing us to fall off the pedestal and yet love us the same.

People who have lost and have spent enough time hanging on the line of hope would see second chances as foreign. Something they wished they knew or had, something that they could only watch others take and something that they could only wonder what it feels like to have.

As we gear towards the end of March, I have already hit my first bump for the year 2010. Though very much I want it to be the first and last glitch of the year, I know it wouldn't be. However, when the world seem toughest, I am glad I could still be counting my blessings and the wondrous people in my life. Words of comfort flowed, people came and sit through the dark with me till dawn came and someone was always there to push the frowning lines up to a smile.

____________________________________________

 

However, today's entry is not to waffle again about the fantastic-ness of my life. I have just had 6 hours of sleep, i.e. I have been deprieved of the requisite 10 hours of  brain rest needed for me to think intelligent thoughts and speak like the Dalai Lama. I also have just been driving 4 hours on the road. I am effing cranky, tired and have lost all sense of wisedom.

I happened to chance upon Plan Bee's latest blog entry - finally an entry after a million years in hiding - only to discover for the years we have been together, he has never been sincere and true. For all the times I genuinely believe he thought I was funny and the way he used to be lol-ing at my silly-ness - just my own fantasty. My own made-believe that after searching far and wide, someone out there thinks I am funny. He has just actually perfected the art of fake laughter. So the haha-hehe were all just lies. Good acting. Should give him an Oscar for it. All that air of happiness was just a chimera. I am crushed. Crushed is an understatement - I am shattered. I can never see him in the same light again. My impression of him is now tainted. The sheet of virgin snow has now smeared with droplets of red blood on it. Good or not my description?

But because I am a nice person. Sweet. Loving. Forgiving. I am giving him a second chance. Although he does not seem to deserve it.

At the moment, I have filed my Cold War Petition against him. I am declaring hail storm and a temperature of -10 degrees upon him. In summation, our relationship shall be frozen till he repents. Kneel on Durian skin and beg for my forgiveness perhaps? Let me sleep on it. Meditate on that idea.

*Crackling Evil laughters*

If I am a Panda

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned...

Does this log make my butt look fat?

Mum? Can you come and get me down now?

You go. I'll just stay here and rest my head a little bit.

I'll give you 2 seconds to get off me or I'm calling Mom.

Dear Martha Stewart:

I have this brown stain on my nice, white, fluffy butt...

Go Away...Hmph! I am having a bad fur day.

I cannot believe that I'm stuck in this tree again.

What is the matter with me?

Baby, there's no other superstar. Papa-paparazzi.

Now, Run along and go have AN AWESOME WEEKEND BOYS AND GIRLS!!

De-stress 101

Lend me your shoulders

It seems as of late, I have let myself believe that despite the complexity of things and the uncertainty that clouds us, there is a reason for everything that God allows to happen. An explanation and a significance in every event, from the most unseemingly and unexpected to the most joyous and unexplicable.

We feel wiser when we come out of a catastrophy and are able to see how everything connects to lead us to where we are today.

We feel stronger when we emerge, although brusied and scarred - at least, we did not become a casualty to that event.

We very much want to believe that the things that happen to us have great meaning. It's the way we feel life should be. Yes, some days we feel our life's a soap opera. But we want-we need-to have the sense that there's a purpose and value to it all. And we're right.

Sometimes its the smallest reason that can change your lives forever.

To quote Marilyn Monroe,

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

 

 

Today, I really hope what Marilyn said is true. I pray that what ever decisions Dinosaur makes, it will be to give him a better heart and to lead a healthier life so he can grow old with grace, walk me down the isle and run with the grandchildren. I want to walk to the edge and believe that my superhero - that one person who will give me his world should mine crumble and fall - has to go through this bypass surgery so that he can be living better to enjoy his golden years.

 

Sometimes things happens to me and my favourite people in the world. These things may seem horrible, painful and unfair and right now, it does. However, if I take a step back and reflect, I know that without overcoming those obstacles, I would not discover my potential, strength and will power of heart. I would not possess the courage to confess that despite the times Dinosaur drove me crazy, nagged me insanely and was being outright unreasonable, I always have and will love him deeply for the sacrifices, the unconditional love and just for being my daddy dearest.

 

Why does all my favourite people have to a.) fall sick; or b.) die; or c.) fall off the face of the Earth? If everyone is the same to me and there are no favourite people, it will not have hurt so much. Today, I have decided to delete my favourite people list, so when God takes one of the people in my life away, my heart will be less battered because it will just be another person missing and not a favourite one.

 

This is me - holding back tears and trying very hard to be a tough cookie.