Happiness is only true when its shared.
The banker asked me last night over dinner and juices whether I am all ready for a new defined relationship if the time was propitious. Over the sugar rush, I would think what he meant was, am I finally geared for some stability in life and all suited up to take the leap of faith - he also crudely pointed out that my eggs were near to expiry and my biological clock must be ticking insanely by now.
My needs and expectations has evolved through time. When I stand from a higher ground and see my life from a different angle, through less myopic lens, I realised, how small circle I have based my life around that I have never seen and even try to explore beyond the lines. with more clarity, I can only hope that I have gathered more courage to do things at a heartbeat, hesitate less, compromise a little more than I used to and be less reserved to go after what I want. I can see myself handling failures better, continue fervently to achieve my goals, and not falter at the first beat of difficulty or when I slip from my rhythmic pattern. Having the confidence is different from knowing that I am intelligent, well-educated and all-rounded. It grinds deeper. It is in knowing that storms are not to weather us down but for us to soar above the clouds. It is knowing that the right choices to make, the moral high ground to take, and how to calculate the next step in life.
My persiflage and repartee must have been soporific to the Banker because in no due time have I embarked on sharing my 20 minutes of intelligent conversation albeit high-projectile saliva spitting, he started to talk about his visit to the dermatologist. He has long considered the condition of his skin to be less than satisfactory - too huge a pore, too red a nose and too putsalated around the T-zone. Granted he could have suggested to the char koay teow seller to use the oil on his face in replacement of cooking oil.
He has lost confidence in facial and creams. They are too slow a remedy and resulting to an accumulation of debt. Thus he finally resorted to see a dermatologist who, much to the banker's horror and insult, couldn't identify what the banker's huge fuss was about his skin. To the dermatologist, it seemed alright. skin that best belongs to any homosapien. Apparently so claimed by the Banker, the patient who went in before him had blotchy skin and colour discolouration. sounded alien to me. I guess martians have also found the need to have alabaster skin and green is no longer in fashion as skin colour. For the next hour and over 2 cups of juices, we squabble and laugh about his skin, the condition of it and the myriad ways he had tried to achieve skin like a baby's bottom.
In 3 hours, we flooded our bladder and ran our salivary gland dry. sharing the ups and downs of life. Letting go of our inhibitions in our state of sugar rush. Who said we need alcohol to make us inebriate for silly anecdotes. No one told you that sugar does the same trick too? two boisterous college mates who have grown up together and mature through time, catching up on the loss times, the forgotten joy and fulfilling the longing of genuine companionship. The cherry on top of all these is having the sea splashing it waves behind us and the gentle wind blowing our worries away. In my years of pursuit of happiness, I never thought of sharing it. Reminiscing on that night, I now know - it feels good to share your happiness.
