2009 was ushered in with a whole new fashion releasing hot air ballons with my new year rest-solutions written on it. 2008 is history, ancient news if one would like to put it. All the trials and tribulations, all the memories that you hold dear to your heart, all the pain and hurt, the good, the bad and the ugly all tied up in a big parcel and shipped away never to be reopened again. If one look back, one will be amazed on how fast 365 days flew by. We have all survived it (otherwise you wouldn't be reading this now) and we have have our stories to tell. I traversed and landed in 10 different countries alone in 2008. Forge a strong bond with the yellow stranger I met in 2007. Lost a person I held dear to my heart. Obtained my license to sue. Walk a better walk with Him. I learnt so much in a year but yet even if someone offered to pay me a billion dollars to go through 2008 again, I wouldn't and couldn't. It was a crawl in 2008. I had to grow up and I believed I did.
2009 begins bleakly. the economic recession hangs like a dark cloud over everyone. we wear wrinkles and shoulder worries on what awaits us in the next few months. We shudder in fear at the sight of the looming storm. 2009 beckons us into an unknown....
So while everyone is lying in bed and riding out their hangovers on the 1st of January 2009, I lay in bed thinking about what to have for lunch...and also my just newly "released" new year resolutions. People aren’t actively fulfilling their New Year’s resolutions, they’re only thinking (read: fantasizing) about how they can make their lives better while sitting on their couch and watching college football. No one does shit on New Year’s Day! There is nothing more unambitious than starting off a new year by making the first day a holiday. It seems to me that it would make more sense to take the last day of the year off and make December 31 a holiday, and start the new year off by working and getting stuff done. New Year’s Day, as a holiday, is just a celebration of procrastination and laziness.
The older I get, the more I realize how little control I have over my life. While the surprises God has thrown in my path sometimes lead to angry confusion - I can't tell you the number of times I've shaken my fists at the air, why-God-why style - there have also been a lot of surprise blessings in the form of things I initially thought were bad. Other times, I go through a rough period only for God to bring something good out of it. There were a lot of "what...??!" moments in 2008 and I pondered if 2009 will also be filled with loads more doubleyeeww teef eff moments too. scrolling down the list of my resolutions mentally, I probably have to slap myself in the face for coming up with such an atrocious list. So to save myself from any more hair loss than I already have in 2008, I made up my mind - to heck with the list. If I were to live life always cursing the storms, always weary to what's ahead and when the lightning is going to strike, I would be a very stiff and stoic person. Boring and lifeless. I pretty much want to just dance in the rain and soak myself wet, drench from head to toe in the rain this year literally. Not always precarious of what is going to happen.
Life isn’t measured by hours, days, or months as much as it is by the sequence of our experiences. Have you ever reflected on your life? I suspect that you have, and I also suspect that you don’t chronicle the events in your life by years, but rather you remember them by the context in which you were alive. We remember our lives by what grade we were in, where we were working, and who we were sleeping with. If you’re in (1) school, (2) have a good job, or (3) are in a fantastic relationship, you can certainly agree that time moves at a lightning fast pace when you’re existence feels validated. Conversely by that same token, this is why the lives of (1) married people, (2) Scott Baio, and (3) people who aren’t having sex (see 1) seem to be trapped in a time vacuum. New Year’s Day tells us to view our lives in an uncreative way, whether we have lives or not. It’s a way for dumb people to feel better about their wretched lives when they probably shouldn’t.
Here’s a solution. If you want to get tossed on New Year’s Eve and party like it’s 1999 then go ahead and do it. New Year’s Eve is the only time of the year when you can kiss a complete stranger on the lips and not be punched in the face or arrested for doing so. Everyone should take advantage of this snafu in social dynamics. But, if you want to turn your life around in 2009, don’t use the New Year as an excuse to do so. Resolutions are like marriage licenses; they’re bound to get broken. Life is a continuum, and you can change your life whenever you want to all year round. Your resolution won’t improve your life, but your resolve will.
I don’t know what’s going to happen to me in 2009, and I’m pretty sure that I don’t care. I don’t like to fantasize about how I want things to be. I just know that my life is moving faster than seconds and minutes. People say that my year is off to a great start, despite the fact that they’ll always view me through a lens with one-dimensional resolution.
