There has been occasions at work when my desk is pile up with stacks of file that looks like two Himalayas have been erected. My clerks will snoop into my room while my face is glue onto the computer screen and quietly pile up those files like uno stackos. It wobbles and threatens to collapse on me on some days. I so fear that one day, they will find me dead under heaps of paper documents. For suing all those people, I am finally 'reaping' the juice of it. Death by the very documents I am issuing to default borrowers.
On days where the Himalayas surface miraculously on my desk, I have pulled my hair out and cry silently at the amount of stress the firm is putting me under. I work way past 7pm on some days and still suffer the need to take back work. Then I start regressing being a lawyer. I start wishing that I had been an astronaunt instead. I then try to buy a time machine and go back in time to stop my old self from going to law school. I will start tpying my resignation letter only to stop at the 2nd sentence. I was just filled with frustation. temporary malfunction of all logical sensibility. emotions take over and at the end, the mountain will just grow higher.
It is when days seem gloomy and every single damn thing in the office seem to be done by me, is the time when I start to count my blessings. Of course, I come back and moan and groan to my mum about the insane amount of work they force on me - "I'm not a labour worker!!" "They think I am their maid from Indonesia?!!" and etc etc...but I still lunge my weary self to work the next morning, run like a pyschopath in court, wait for upteenth hours in court, and a whole lot of mundane activities.
So while I was sobbing silently and starring forlornly at the 2 himalayas the other day, I tick of the reasons I should be thankful for today besides the hideous pilling of files on my desk:
I am thankful because:
1.) air is free - I don't have to pay for oxygen and I am thankful for that.
2.) Petrol is affordable - prices of petrol has gone down a wee bit and I am glad I can still afford it on my mere payroll so I don't have to walk to work and carry my 10tonnes of file all the way and back each day.
3.) I had an Education - I am thankful I had the opportunity to be educated abroad and given the hollistic academics to save me from tolling my sweats out under the sun. I should be thankful I work in an air-conditioned room..my room!!
4.) Penang - I am glad I am still living on this beautiful island where the sun, sea and beach is free and the food is heavenly.
5.) I am His daughter - knowing that He is always watching out for me, comforting me makes it all better that I am not alone in dealing with the craziness at work
6.) I have a job - in the current dire states of economy where everyone is wishing they have a job, I am glad I have one despite the peanuts they are paying me.
7.) Internet is accessible at work - otherwise I would not be able to chat with proper, sane, tangible people after 6 and when the office is creepy and quiet.
8.) I still am sane - I am glad God kept my sanity intact above all else!
Everytime I am having a horrible day at work or even a hellish day, I lean back on my swivel chair, heave a heavy sigh and start thanking my lucky stars for the things I have always taken for granted. There are bound to be stress at work. In fact, it is the stress that makes the work challenging (this is the over optimistic me talking). A job that is not challenging is not helping you progress because day in day out, you will be wheel into the complacency of medocricy.
I am not settling to be a hamster who is happy as long as he gets fed his barley or wheat twice a day and is even more estatic if it is given a large wheel to run on day in day out until he collapse out of exhaustion. I am not settling for an ordinary job. I sign up to do this 5 years ago. So when the going gets tough, God gets me going and I say, "Bring it on baby!!" I am a fierce fighter!
fuyooh...optimistic aint i...wait till i walk in to see 3 himalayas on my desk..! Breathe baby breathe..inhale,exahle!
