Logically, I am suppose to love my job. Besides the incompetentcy of some clerks, the barrage of paper work, the disorganised clutter of files, and the occasional moonlighting as a loan shark to chase for payments from scrooge like clients, there is really nothing to not like about my job. Honestly, there is nothing to complain save for the fact that I have this small squeaky voice that should have belong to a girl scout, not a lawyer. but that has nothing to do with my job. it's about me. it's about this mousy tiny sound I make everything I speak. It's the annoyance that I get everytime the caller at the other side would say, "can you speak louder? I cannot hear you." It is the exasperation that I face when they say that. That umbrage that will show in my heated up face from tuning my vocal chords a few volumes louder. Maybe it's time I prioritize and exercise my vocal chords.
I am trying to be honest with myself. Everytime I am on the phone with a client or a Defendant or anyone from work, I sound like I am trying to sell chocolates to them. Like a girl scout. I should have work at a friendship call centre so men can call in to seek solace in my saccharine voice after a stressful day at work. This is the very voice that make good rational men weak in the knees. So I have this weakness. A not so powerful voice like Mariah Carey. but it's fucking sexy sensual. Talking to me is akin to watching porn - the more you hear, the more blood rushes and after awhile, you just feel like exploding. The acid test that seperates the boys from the men.
I suppose it does not help either that I hardly say no to people. I try to be as girl next door as possible and this usually gets me into more trouble. I either find myself committing to something I would not want to in the first place but will satisfy others. I should be more assertive next time. I think putting my foot down can be an effortless ingenuity. It saves time, money and effort.
After some careful cogitation, tonight, and every other night from tonight, I will devote 5 minutes of my time to practice my vocal chords and train it to a husky tone. I will also practice saying, "No" in different octaves. Growling Nos. Whimping Nos. Squeaky Nos. Cheerful Nos. Apprehensive Nos. Booming Nos. Fiery Nos. Simple Nos. Isn't this an unadulterated genius? never, never underestimate the power of petite me.
Be assertive.
B.E Assertive.
Sorry, no comments. I am the lawyer, not the judge. Just pay up your freaking debt. I am not free. I cannot help. Learn it. live it. Speak it.
I am going back to loving my job. I am lovin' it.
