Underneath it all

We all have our own alter-ego. Some has one, some has a myriad. Undeniably, alter-ego allows us to mingle and ka-jingle with more people as everyone is made out of different genes, chromosomes and mould in different environment and mature into a variety of attitudes and characters. We all need and have an alter-ego to fit into this society of crazy lunatics. I have mine. If I can truly be myself all the time, my workplace will be topsy turvy. I would have been fired 5 months ago as all my work will be labelled "tomorrow, one more day, 2 more weeks" and bold with procrastination. I won't be able to hold myself up as someone astute and stoic as my profession seem to suggest. wig and funny hair, barristers have carve a notion among the society as boring, tight-ass, pompous and no fun. I am no fun. honest. brownie swear. that is before 6.

The real me, is the one you see after 6. Underneath the blazer and smart shirt, is milky skin and is just me...t-shirt and shorts, quirky and fun. I like to see myself as someone who doesn't take life seriously. Someone who has little thoughts and opinions..a blonde. Laid back and ignorant of the Roland Garros hotties, F1's MacLaren who is tortoise points behind BMW, and the political satire of Obama and Hillary. But not everyone can accept all of me. With some, they gasps in horror (with their bottom lips almost kissing the floor) that I am so outspoken on my sexuality. With others, they embrace my sexual repartee with open arms and stiffen "tools". talk is cheap. It means nothing more until put to action. I can talk about the cow's udder till they moo back home and the farmer wouldn't even give a two hoots - as long as I don't start milking for milk.

The real me likes to be frank and honest. No need to sugarcoat, no need to pretend. But the world see apple-polishing as vital and important like shag buddies brushing your teeth twice a day if you want to prevent tooth decay. Gentle words, fake white sparkling smiles, and rah-rah cheerleadering behind every good and evil makes you a best bud, a model employee, an ideal partner and most of all - a promise of 999 friends on facebook. Everyone wants a piece of you. To hear you, to melt in your smile, and to be polished by you so they can shine and gleam like diamonds. But what apple polisher gives are temporary shine. A momentary limelight and a short-lived boast. Worse still, you carry with you an all star attitude when all around you, people snigger at your words, your actions and your thoughts. You are too blinded by the sparkling smile of the apple polisher and not to mention your own ego-shine to notice the neon light blinking somewhere out there that says " the ultimate truth ". No need to hear the harsh words, the criticism, the things you dread to hear most, to see the war-torn battle field, the pain of piercing words and your own true reflection.

I have met too many apple polishers to last me a lifetime. I am definitely safe from the doctors and psychiatrist. An apple polisher a day keeps the dagger away. Underneath the apple polisher is an agenda of his own. The things they do and say to keep you close as bosom friends. Lure you with their flesh and when you are close enough, snuff you to death, suffocate you in between the clevage of their bosoms their lies and deceit. I failed the first interview for the position of apple polisher. In my resume, I listed my dislikes and amongst them is 'dislike pretentious people'. The world is filled with gazillions of people who say the nicest things, never the darnest, but always the right words to push your buttons. I am afraid of these people. When I was told the human heart is the most lethal poison in the world - i cannot agree more.

Underneath me all, I only want to be myself. Never having to confine to the standards that the world has set for my generation of peers. To go to graduate school, to have 999 friends on facebook, to be popular, to be in a ideal relationship, to have the dream job, the dream home, the swiss bank account and to look like Kristen Kreuk or Ziyi Zhang. I am tired of people "pretending" and having to proof to the world..screaming, check me out, 1.) I travelled europe when I was 21 2.) I am deeply in love with the nicest man on Earth and 3.) I am a member of the prestigious Lincoln's Inn. Underneath all the glamorous profiles there lies the truth beneath : - 1.) they cry themselves to bed everynight, 2.) they glee at their 999 friends and popularity and 3.) they have no redeeming qualities.

Isit so hard to be honest? To be completely bare naked with your words and you can still say the nicest thing without having to pretend and deceived...right? I am a boring person. I agree. What's life afterall without a little spice? The world cannot function without a white lie. When a man tells me, I lie because I care for you and do not want to hurt you, I send him to f star star k himself. If he can't respect me enough to be honest, he doesn't deserve my honesty and my respect either. No need to pretend. Wipe the slate clean.

what happen to the REAL life they once had? What's underneath it all?How far will some take their alter ego that their completely altered themselves, inside out? *shudder shudder*