Sharing this planet with others would ultimately mean being vulnerable to others hurting us or us hurting others. having been at both ends of the spectrums and also in the middle of it, it dawn upon me that there is only so little we mortals can do. we try not to walk by our feelings so we will not be hurt and disappointed. but yet, very often, the heart takes rein of the mind. so, we let the heart take charge and wear our hearts on our sleeve.
I watch as Marion cried her heart out in sunday Mass today. as she kneel and pray, the tears just flowed freely. when we are with someone who isn't necessarily very attractive to our needs, we could easily fall in love with another who gives us the attention we crave. It was simply put it, I could very much feel her pain. When I listen to her sobs over the phone sometimes, I had to remind myself to hum a happy song inside my heart so as not to unearth my own pain.
For even in those little gaps of words and lotsa nose blowing conversations, I felt my own pain. While the world has shut her out and expect her to make a miraculous recovery and sing praises about how God has been faithful to her, sorry to disappoint, the world didn't feel her pain. neither did i. even though i have been there and went through that, we were two individuals in a myriad of circumstances.
she became the mirror reflection of me a while ago. filled with vengence, bitterness and hatred. overflowing with grief and sadness. even having our faith rocked by the actions and words other. but Matthew reminded us, who are we to judge? Life after all is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it. There are two things that God doesn't share with us: 1) His glory 2.) His right to settle old scores. How we are all taught to take our hands off the situation and let Him work it out. Probably we had all signed up not just for a promise to save our souls but rather, also signing up to let Him take control over our lifes. Did we all fail to read the fine prints of terms and conditions? maybe, maybe not.
Anyway back to crying sobbing Marion kneeling over prayer. While she had expected me to tell her what everyone had said i.e: "you should just forget about him. Put him right out of your mind and move on", i was not everyone else. People probably said that because it is a nicer way to say: I'm sick to death of hearing this. Just move on will it. Well, at the moment, I kneel down too and report to God about all these people.
If Marion had known had to move on, she would have done so already. Needless to kill a whole rainforest and yet still feel like a migraine. In the grand scheme of things, getting over someone isn;t easy. And no one should harass her over it or let anyone harass her. if anyone does, i will sue them.
it was rather how long will she put her life on hold? how long can she hold out the glasses of water in her hands without feeling tired? but it doesnt matter to me, or anyone. ultimately, it was her emotions. i just had to hold my conscience clear. by not joining the leagues of others who gives bad advice. who thinks they know what she has been through and who cannot hold their tongue from calling her crazy. where her faith stands, what she understand about faith is clearly shown today - coming to Mass, kneeling there, praying and standing in the House of God even at her darkest hours. Bless her...
Bittersweet, they are just memories
Say goodbye to the scores of good and bad
Pride, skepticism, ill feelings
Let it be wash and never lingering
Mistakes that we make can never be wipe clean
Pain that we all feel cannot be completely heal
but the nonsense, the lies and the rejection
let it be forgiven and forgotten
Say goodbye to the scores of good and bad
Pride, skepticism, ill feelings
Let it be wash and never lingering
Mistakes that we make can never be wipe clean
Pain that we all feel cannot be completely heal
but the nonsense, the lies and the rejection
let it be forgiven and forgotten
