They sat as far from each other as possible, but were still techinically still opposite me.
"Ok, dearly beloved, I smiled, we are all gathered here today because you guys wanted to tie up the loose strings. news flash, you both need to be told what's on your mind. stop pretending. loose ends are not meant to be tied up...its meant to be burn up so it wont get lose again. GEDDIT?" I could feel everyone around us turning and starring but humilation was out of the question now. I am tired of being constantly harassed to share their pain, constantly being saddled with sadness. they both knew the answers but were just too afraid to speak up.
Marion, I said, "Because you know what, you are funny, and gorgeous and clever, but you are missing that certain something that makes you loveable. And, you know all those times Bob has roger you senseless, well, he said it was out of friendship, not cause he has felt anything, despite all those mixed signals he have been sending and how he has reacted when you were on the verge of leaving him. you were his engineered plan to experience 'heaven'. as much as i want to kick his sorry arse for you, I am in no position to do that." imaginary smack across bob's face.
I turned to face Bob and said, "I probably have help you sum up your in depth feelings in that paragraph, havent I?" starring right into his eyes. I continued, "it probably also help explain your egocentric world and the basic reasoning why you failed to be able to show some respect for some people. well, surprise surprise! you do not shag your girlfriend senseless and apply a mistake disclaimer to it" it took me eons to figure that out and no amount of valium can help me battle the nightmares i face in my sleep or even in reality. because that was how i once felt. " imagine having to put on a brave face on it because she was too humilated that all your friends knew and had tried talking about it. and all who probably sat there discussing it and pitying and wishing she could get a grip".
Marion, I said, "Because you know what, you are funny, and gorgeous and clever, but you are missing that certain something that makes you loveable. And, you know all those times Bob has roger you senseless, well, he said it was out of friendship, not cause he has felt anything, despite all those mixed signals he have been sending and how he has reacted when you were on the verge of leaving him. you were his engineered plan to experience 'heaven'. as much as i want to kick his sorry arse for you, I am in no position to do that." imaginary smack across bob's face.
I turned to face Bob and said, "I probably have help you sum up your in depth feelings in that paragraph, havent I?" starring right into his eyes. I continued, "it probably also help explain your egocentric world and the basic reasoning why you failed to be able to show some respect for some people. well, surprise surprise! you do not shag your girlfriend senseless and apply a mistake disclaimer to it" it took me eons to figure that out and no amount of valium can help me battle the nightmares i face in my sleep or even in reality. because that was how i once felt. " imagine having to put on a brave face on it because she was too humilated that all your friends knew and had tried talking about it. and all who probably sat there discussing it and pitying and wishing she could get a grip".
"you pissed on her emotions while the rest of the world thinks you are a good bloke because you do put on a good impression of being a good guy. The only people who saw the real side of you are the ones who really loved you who really wanted you and who believe that loving you was not just a six letter word. People who got screwed over because they were stupid enough to fall completely for the nice-guy act?" definitely, maybe.
while the rest of the world has told him the nicest thing he wanted to hear or rather listen to his reasonings and explanation, i felt those people were being friends who stood as accomplice to his infidelity. People who never found the courage to exercise the commandments in their life and rather felt it was best having no part in playing on this stage of shakespearian affair. well, while they are so busy reporting to God about their daily activities and tribulations, did they also kept in mind to report to God that they have stood watch their own siblings commit treachery to another?
"a verbal abuse or an emotional abuse will stay a scar no matter how you say sorry. you can pray but Yahweh knows better...shame that she have lost sight of what faith is. shame that she have stumble in her walk. shame you had to play a part in this".
I twisted a fraction in my seat, took a gulp from my ice chocolate while fighting brain freeze.
"Bob, you are a commitment-phobic guy. if wanted a friend, you can find it in Marion. you have in fact. but then again, you like the 101 guys in the world, have to let your dick lead you and see where you end up? you felt the fear but you did it anyway and in that process, you screwed up 3 perfectly great people..no make that four, including me". "learning to say that you are need help, isn't that difficult. you are not that righteous. beyond the sex, the relationship, learn to see that marion is a friend and has been a friend. the woman you dated is the woman you have wanted. otherwise, why date her in the first place? so many people are crying out for someone they can trust, so stop f star star k-ing up people's life, will you? nothing and no one should stand in the way of the unity that God has brought you two together for and for Buddha's sake, stop using His words for every single damn thing you say".
"The very fact that you both have not spoken for a month tells alot. you have both forgotten what is it like to be two people together. sort your heads out...settle for reconciliation. seek an alternative dispute resolution. (oh la la, i am putting my civil law knowledge to good use) whatever! be sincere. Bob, it hurts more than you think. stop being an ignorant jerk. it hurts and you cause it..so be a man and deal with it!!!". more stares from those around me...they must think i have gone really bonkers.
It is our choices that shows us who we are for, far more than our abilities. - the choice to betray, to choice to speak kind words, the choice to listen, the choice to not snog the ex-flame at the airport like a desperado, the choice to stay loyal to the person who had been there for me through thick and thin, the choice that He has allowed us to make on our own free wills, the choice that we made to abuse His grace.
a betrayal - lonely walks in the park, a cold
snuggle in insecurities, a tasting of sourness, a hearing of trashings about yourself, a tour in the valley of disappointment, a feeding of hurt, a quiet jog of painful memories and a stare at the knife thrusted into your heart. you are just another Judas.the Judas who made Jesus wept. the relationship was like a meal at McDonalds to him. cheap yet filling. tasty but big time mistakes to him.
enough said for today. they should know better, they knew they should know better. not play this mind game with each other. for now, they have to learn to apologise to each other. i never thought i will be tired of talking but today i was. i leaned back in my couch and watch them both trying...learning to be friends? we shall see....definitely, maybe. Humans should all learn to be like the penguins when it comes to love, a partner for life, no matter what the odds are...
while i genuinely thought - as two in a relationships have reached a level of comfort, there should also be this level of trust knowing that one and the another will persevered through the obstacles and storms. i was wrong about this. i forgot to fit selfishness in and throw faith out of the equation. I TOO WANNA BE A PENGUIN!!! lotsa shell fish, no need for faith and a lifetime of shagging the brains out of each other...how fun! WELL perfect relationships are steaming with sex - what did Adam and Eve did daily in the Garden of Eve? gardening? definitely, maybe....
